Lesson #1

WOW is it HOT here in Baltimore!  I had a great time dancing the night away on Saturday...out until 2 am!  I have not done that in a very looooong time.  Happy Bachelorette Meghan!

My mom flew in on Sunday night.  She is so happy in all of her Grandma glory.   I love having her here.  My mom is the best and I know there is so much I can learn from her.  I'm going to try keeping track of my domestic lessons. Lesson #1, Remember how I mentioned Kolton likes to eat his fists lately?  Well apparantly he has a tooth and I didn't even know!  I was expecting all sorts of drooling, crying, fevering, etc.  Nope, the kid cut his first tooth without so much as a wimper.  And I totally missed it!  I guess I should have been running my fingers along his gum line to check.  Whoops!  Thanks Mom:)

Retirement Day

Today is my last day of work for the foreseeable future.  Crazy!  AND we are moving to Florida.  Crazy!  So I am retiring and moving to Naples, FL at age 32.  Life is funny sometimes:)  Gotta say, I'm feeling a little guilty about all of that money I spent on getting a college education only to stay at home.  But, I'm a better person and I'll be a better mother for it.  Plus, the friendships and memories are priceless! 

I don't think I can say anything more regarding my feelings about moving to Florida...it is what it is.  I know I'm being quite the Debbie Downer about it.  I am just a person that thrives on friendships and moving to a place where I have none is hard for me.  But I need to focus on the positive...this is a great opportunity for Mike and our family.  What an incredible adventure it will be!

In Kolton news he's starting to really reach and grasp for things now.  All of the little toys that hang from his car seat and bouncy chair have new life now that he can reach them.  He's accidentally rolled from belly to back a few times and is sitting much better in his Bumbo chair.  I think the next couple of weeks are going to be very exciting.  In all the craziness that has been my life lately I haven't had too much time to worry about Kolton's upcoming surgery.  A week from today he will be having a minor surgery to repair a hernia.  Since we knew from day 1 that he would require surgery the hospital refused to circumcise him because it'll be better to do it under anesthesia, so he's getting that done too.  I'm really hoping it doesn't disrupt his sleep schedule too much.  Thankfully my mom will be here to help us make him as comfortable as possible.  She comes in on Sunday for a weeks visit and I am so excited for her to spend time with him.

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!  I have a bachelorette party to go to in Ocean City on Saturday.  Hope everyone has a fun and safe weekend:)

18 Weeks!

I admit I am totally one of those freaks who now count the passage of time in weeks instead of months!  This used to completely confuse me.  Now, whenever someone asks me how old Kolton is I usually consider my audience before responding.  If it's someone I either know or assume to be a mother I reply in weeks.  If it's a man or younger person asking I reply in months:)

Last Friday Kolton had his 4 month well baby checkup. 

weight=14lbs, 8.50z  birth weight=8lbs,7oz
height=25in  birth height=20in...is it height or length, same thing I suppose????

He is measuring in the 50 percentile for both height and weight but 75 percentile for head size...I wonder if that's why he still can't quite hold it up for a long time yet!  He still hasn't rolled over yet and although I'm eagerly anticipating it I'll just enjoy his immobility while it lasts!  His favorite things to do are still hang out in his green jungle activity mat or eat his fists.  And the best part; he sleeps 11 hours / night on average.  Yippee!!

It's The End Of The World As We Know It

So we all survived; to be honest I didn't really pay the end of the world that much attention.  It did make me stop and think though.  My world, as I know it, is about to end.  This week will be my last week of work for the foreseeable future.  I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited.  However, I also feel very anxious and a little weirded out.  I know change is inevitable and I don't necessarily fear it.  I just hate the transition phase; the in between time.  For me change is a lot easier to deal with when it's fast.  That way there really is nothing to think about. You adapt because there are no other choices. Mike and I are both emotionally exhausted from thinking and talking about Florida vs Richmond.  The decision really isn't up to us and we are just ready to know.   I guess the one thing we know for sure is life will be different, and that still makes me a little sad.  But then all I have to do is look at my sweet baby boy and I know where ever we'll be, we'll be happy!

17 Weeks!

Last night I had an awards dinner for work.  Basically, it was an excuse to buy a new pretty dress:)  Although these events can sometimes feel daunting it actually ended up being a pretty fun time.  Some of us even rented a limo to get the party started and keep it going after the event was over.  I have to say it did feel a little like we were going to a prom for grown ups.  So it was fun to let lose a little.  I did not stay out too late (around midnight) because no matter what happens the night before it's time to be Mommy again at 6 am. 

But something happened when I got home that made it a pretty significant night for me.  I woke up around 3am to go to the bathroom and decided to use the hall one instead of our master so that I didn't wake Mike up. Like I said yesterday we've been having trouble sleeping through the night ourselves.   I was kind of in a half sleep daze -you know just go, wash up, and crawl back into bed.  I then realized that for that brief minute or two I completely forgot about Kolton!  It wasn't so much that I forgot about him he just didn't cross my mind until I got back into bed and heard the wooshing sound from the monitor.  Usually I would have taken that opportunity to check in on him but I didn't even think about it.  I knew that I had checked on him when I got home so at least that made me feel a little better.  It's not like I'm getting the worst mom award here I just felt soooo guilty. 

Another thing I often think about is the whole concept of being on automatic pilot and forgetting about your child in the car or something like that.  I've read such tragic stories about this happening to good people and good parents.  I've started to keep my purse in the back seat so that I have to actually look back there every time I get out.  Mike always keeps his suit jacket hanging behind the drivers side so he also has a good habit of physically looking in the back seat every time.  Last night I definitely was on auto and it just freaked me out a little when I realized that for that brief minute it was just like any other night I had before Kolton was born.  I guess I've just been so worried for so long that the lack of worry felt strange and wrong somehow!

Sleep Training

I let Kolton watch TV in the morning after his bottle.  I know, I know, I'm rotting his brain but he's just so darn cute!

Mike's interviews went really well!  Basically he has the job but they are just not 100% sure which territory they want him in.  We are both really sick of being in limbo.  I don't want to even think about packing up and moving; ugh!  So for now I'll just enjoy what ever time we have left in Baltimore.  There are so many fun events coming up.  The real silver lining in Mike getting this job is that I get to be a stay at home Mommy!  I'm pretty excited to throw myself into the role.  I've been thinking a lot about activities I want to sign up for but of course that will also have to wait until we get set up in our new city.  It's been real frustrating getting home only in time to put Kolton to bed.  Last night I got home at 6:45 and he was asleep by 7:25.  But hey, I'm not going to complain too much because right now he's a champion sleeper.  Mike and I however, are not. 

Do they offer sleep training for adults because we could really use some.  Without fail we are both up in the middle of the night.  I don't know why?!?!  It started happening a few weeks before Kolton was even born.  I thought it was our bodies way of preparing ourselves for what was to come.  Then, getting through those first few months was no picnic but we made it.  Now Kolton sleeps for 11 hours/night on average.  Why can't we? 

Since contemplating the possibility of moving to Florida I haven't been able to stop thinking about bugs and spiders.  Most of you know that I am TERRIFIED of spiders.  Well last night during The Voice the most awful commercial aired.  I don't think I imagined it but I was half asleep so I'm not sure which company the commercial was for exactly. But it was for a smart phone that had such a clear picture that when they showed a picture of a giant tarantula a woman thought one was actually on her table.  Eeeek!  Who came up with this crap?  I get the hebie jebies just thinking about it!  Did anyone else see this?  So of course I was tossing and turning because of that.  Then a train kept coming through and blaring the horn (we live really close to tracks).  Mike likes to sleep with the windows open, I don't.  Etc, etc.  Anyway, I feel like its been a long time since Ive had a night of true quality restful sleep.  I once heard that after you become a parent you always sleep with one eye open.  I hope that's not true!!!!

Change

When we brought Kolton home from the hospital he HATED when we changed his diaper. It was really the only time he cried outside of being hungry. He just did not like to be naked; made obvious by the kicking and screaming. I suppose it had something to do with feeling safe and warm and then suddenly exposed and unfamiliar. However, by the time he was 1 month old he didn't cry during changes anymore.  By two months he down right loved it because he figured out he could stretch his legs without being restricted. Now days he might be crying and fussy then the minute I set him on the changing table he starts to smile and laugh!  Or eat his hands now that he discovered them.

Everyone says your life changes when you have a baby. And while that is absolutely true we have been dealing with even more changes than most. As I've mentioned before Mike was laid off shortly before Thanksgiving. I take that back, he wasn't laid off, the company he was working for simply stopped doing business in the channel he was working in. So along with having a newborn we adjusted to the fact that Mike wasn't working. It was stressful but it was OK because I wasn't left to figure things out on my own day in and day out. But things were not easy or simple. We went from a secure place to one that felt exposed and unfamiliar.

10 weeks after Kolton was born life changed again as I went back to work. Now Mike really was primary care giver. I rushed home to get the moments in that I could. But sometimes I had things I wanted to do at night as well. Que guilt and total role reversal. Is it fair that Mike has to spend all day looking after the little man and then all night too? Is it fair that I don't get to have a life outside of work and my child?  This road is getting a little bumpy...

Now things are changing again in a major way. Mike is currently in Minneapolis interviewing for a position that would mean another relocation for us. For the past 3 weeks we thought it was going to be in Southern Florida. I have been kicking and screaming. I love our life in Baltimore; we have a great house and amazing friends here. It's our home now. Southern Florida would mean a completely new way of life.  I have been freaking out about everything from bugs to putting Christmas lights on a palm tree.  I haven't exactly been making things easy on Mike; like I said, kicking and screaming.


As of Friday we found out that a territory in Virginia might be a possibility...just as I was starting to warm up to the Florida idea a little. But it still means we have to move. While we would only be about 3 hours from Baltimore it still means major change.  New place to live, new friends to make, new roads to become familiar with.  We don't know anything for sure yet. But I can blog about it because the guilt was tearing me up so I told my sales manager at work what was happening. If this happens it will happen quick. But if it falls through I still need to work.  Since I'm not the one looking outside the company I figured it would be OK and it was.

I'm still not that happy about having to leave Baltimore. In fact, I'm heartbroken. But I can't help but remember that I felt the same way leaving Minneapolis 5 years ago. I think about Kolton and how fast he is growing, learning, and adapting.  Change is definitely a roller coaster.  It's downright scary sometimes but, once you get to the end you can't help but smile and laugh at the thrill of it all.

Kolton 16 Weeks

I just got used to saying I had a 3 month old!

AngelCare

This is my little angel first thing in the morning. Like a lot of new parents I have a lot of fears, especially SIDS. I hate that there are no known symptoms or causes. Yes there are precautions you can take like putting the baby to sleep on his back and making sure the crib is free of soft blankets, pillows, and stuffed animals. But, it still occurs in 1/1000 live births. Ugh! I do not like those odds.

So we have a fancy schmancy AngelCare monitor. Have you hear of this? It has a sensor pad that you place under the crib mattress. The sensor is supposed to detect movement, even the slightest movement like breathing. If no movement is detected for more than 20 seconds an alarm sounds. The alarm has gone off approximately 5 times!

The first couple were actually slightly hilarious. Kolton had somehow managed to scoot himself into the corner of his crib. The first time it went off it was 80 degrees in the house. When it went off my feet felt planted to the ground. All I could do was scream at Mike "Get Him! Get Him!" Mike ran into the nursery and I followed with a pure sense of dread. I wasn't quite sure what we were going to find. Had he overheated and suffocated? Then Mike screamed "Where is he?!?!" OMG he's not in the crib at all!!! At that point he wasn't sleeping through the night and I remembered I had taken him into our bedroom for a nighttime feed because we had the fan going. Did I fall asleep with him in the bed?!?! But wait that didn't quite make sense since the alarm just went off... As Mike ran out I did the only thing I could do and peer into the crib. He had scooted himself all the way to the top and somehow managed to get turned so he was laying cross ways. Kolton then gave me the biggest brightest smile I had ever seen as if to say "Got You!" To Mike's credit we were already in a panic because of the blaring alarm and he had simply glanced to the spot in the crib where Kolton should have been. Well after that the alarm would go off every time the little man scooted himself up. I was placing a blanket over him tucking the sides in so that it wouldn't move to keep him warm. It got my friend Julie's son to sleep through the night and the first time I tried it I believe Kolton slept for a longer period as well. On another hot night a few weeks ago I did not put the blanket over and guess what? He didn't move an inch! And hasn't since. Ooops! I feel really bad, I guess he was trying to scoot himself out.

So everything was going great for weeks when all of the sudden a few nights ago the alarm went off again! Insert heart attack once more. I ran into the nursery and he was perfectly fine. Hadn't moved and inch, breathing, asleep on his back and everything. The alarm went off again the next night! What is going on? Again he seems perfectly fine. But now I am terrified! My mind races, does he really stop breathing for more than 20 seconds. Is he narrowly escaping SIDS because I'm able to run in and with the slightest touch prompt his breathing again? Is this going to happen every night? Thankfully last night it didn't.  I emailed my pediatrician and she said they don't recommend alarms like these for this exact reason. Too many false alarms. Mike thinks I worry too much.  But still...I think I'd rather be on the safe side. What do you think?

Happy Birthday Sophie!

Happy Birthday Sophie! I can't believe my baby is 4 years old. Time flies. Most of you know that Sophie is so much more than just a pet to us. She is truly a family member and in many ways my first born. I really didn't have a bond with any animal growing up. We had a collie named Taffy that was an outdoor dog. Taffy would often go rouge and run away. Once the older lady in the neighborhood started feeding her steak she was gone for good. She would hook up with us when we walked past the neighbor's house but never follow us home. My dad had a couple of cats and an angry little Lahhasa Apso named Mandy. But I really never paid them much attention. Sophie has brought such an incredible amount of joy to our lives. We marvel constantly at what a true companion she is. Of course we love to spoil her and she gets to sleep right between us. She is now such a good big sister to Kolton, always watching over him. But I think she does get quite happy when he goes to bed and she gets us all to her self again. Sophie is quite the little charmer. Everyone in our neighborhood knows her and often say hi to her by name. I'm pretty sure they don't know mine. She is simply the best little light that came into our lives and we love her madly!

On a completely random note: Caller ID cracks me up! Have you ever dialed a wrong number and hung up only to have the owner call back demanding to know who was trying to get a hold of them. Ha! Sorry, you're not that important.

Happy Mother's Day! OMG, what is this?!?!

Happy Mother's Day to all of the wonderful mother's out there; especially my own! It was such a new experience to receive well wishes and comments as I went about my day yesterday. To celebrate, my husband cleaned all of the bathrooms(we have 4!), brought me a huge bouquet of flowers(the biggest one they had, he said!), took me out to breakfast, and even offered to feed the baby while patiently waiting for me at Target. Thank You Sweetie! You're the Best! Later we had some friends over and threw some burgers on the grill for lunch. Then ended the day relaxing on our deck-after putting Kolton down around 7pm. Overall it was a great day!

It was actually a year ago on Mother's Day that I found out I was going to be a mom! I really had no good reason to test. Aunt Flo wasn't due for another day or so, I had gone off the pill only a month before, and there was a very slim chance that I could be pregnant. Lets just say we weren't actively trying:) I didn't even tell Mike I was going to take the test. I just thought it might cool to find out I was going to be a mom on Mother's day. I worked that day and decided to take what I thought would be just a practice test when I got home. But for some reason I was very excited and even thought about how disappointed I was going to be. I turned the test over so I wouldn't obsess too much. I got the surprise of my life when I flipped that sucker back over and saw the positive result! I ran downstairs shaking; waiving the stick at Mike and screaming "What is this?!?!?! OMG What is this?!?!?" Mike looked up at me and said "I can't help you, I don't even know what I'm looking at!"

I waited about an hour and took another test, same result! We called our parents...this was HUGE news! We knew we couldn't keep the secret from the friends we were going to see that week-I am a terrible lier -and we wanted our parent's to be the first to know. I think I ended up taking 6 tests over the next few days and there was no doubt, I was pregnant! I think it came as such a shock because we had heard so many stories about how long it can take. Even though we had talked about it and I went off the pill we just never really wrapped our minds around the idea.

So now a year later here we are. Proud parents to the most beautiful baby boy ever! Kolton, I am so lucky to be your mama!

Jumble

HELLO WORLD! After thinking about starting this blog for months and months I'm finally doing it:) I love to read blogs and have found them to be highly addictive. I especially love the ones that keep me closer to my friends and what's going on in their lives. It makes me feel a part of things even though I may not be around (Hi Dan & Julie!). My problem was my thoughts were a jumbled up mess. Almost like trying to write a paper in college; I just didn't know where to start. Now I feel like it's the day before the papers due and I'm calculating if I can afford to take the hit on my grade to turn it in late...Mom, I never did that, well not that often anyway! So here I am jumping in somewhere in the middle hoping at some point it will all make sense.

I decided to name my blog Domestically Disabled because its actually the phrase on my favorite coffee cup. I don't really cook and sometimes cleaning is a challenge. But now that I have a child things need to change. Or I hope I'll have fun trying along the way. My sweet little baby Kolton Michael is already 3 months old. I want to remember the little things and am afraid I've already failed as a mother but not recording all of his milestones thus far. But I can start now...

At 15 weeks Kolton is simply the sweetest thing. He smiles all the time, especially at his daddy. He's recently been expeimenting with his vocal range by going high pitched at times. He's so content to lay on the floor in his green jungle or sit for a while in his bouncy chair. AND he sleeps through the night! After struggling with what I thought might be some sort of reflux he just simply out grew it. At about 12 weeks the switch just flipped. We now have an established bedtime routine; bath, diaper, lotion, jammies, swaddle, and a few bonus ounces of formula (if he makes it that far, sometimes he doesn't). He falls asleep to the sounds of his Summer Infant Slumber Buddy which plays a variety of lullabyes and lasts for at least 15 minutes if not more. The whole process takes only about 20 minutes or so.

I would probably say that my favorite time of day has to be the morning. After a full nights sleep (10-11 hours most nights) I love waking up to hear him talking to his buddies on his mobil. I wonder what he's saying to them???? He always has a big smile on his face when he finally sees me and then it's time for a s-t-r-e-t-c-h- both arms and legs; so adorable!

I'm writing only about mornings and evenings because that's all I get with him. I'm currently working as a new home sales assistant for Ryan Homes in Baltimore, MD. I count myself lucky because I don't have to be at the model until 10 am so I get a little more time with him in the morning than other working moms. But, I also don't get home until after 6:30; just in time to start the bed time routine at between 7-8:00) Right now my husband gets all of the moments in between. He was laid off shortly before Thanksgiving and is still looking. The timing was great and horrible at the same time. Great because how many Father's get to spend this much alone time with their children (again Hi Dan!) but horrible because there is an extra layer of stress that comes with being unemployed. More on that and a later post.

So, I'm not sure if I'm off to a good start or not here but at least it's something, a start. It's a jumble alright but there will be time for edits later. I look forward to sharing my laughter, love, tears, and completely random thoughts with all of you!