Sad

I really have no words for how utterly sad I've felt all weekend.  The shooting in CT is simply vile and evil.  These poor families.  How do you go on?

The night before this happened I was sitting at the mall with Kolton and found myself wondering what I would do if shots rang out.  Because, after all, there had been a shooting at a mall in Oregon earlier this week and this particular mall had its own incident in October (It didn't make national news).  Yet there I sat, looking for escape routes.

After the shooting at the movie theater this summer I wondered how I would ever be able to sit through a movie again.  I went to see Twilight last weekend and I didn't even think about it.  Is it wrong that I didn't?  Or should I believe that the gun man can't take away a simple pleasure like going to the movies?

I have to drop Kolton off at pre-school tomorrow.  We all have those security thingys that let you in the door.  Every week someone shouts "hold the door" or folks go in as you go out.  I wonder if tomorrow morning will be different?  I know I will let go of his hand with a heavy heart.  But I also know as the weeks go by without incident I may forget the weight of all this.

But, it happens to every generation....that moment when you realize that the world is inherently different from the one you grew up in.  It seems  there has always been a price to pay for time moving forward and advances in technology.  So while the world changes for the better it also gets worse because of it.