Happy 2nd Birthday Kolton!

My dearest, darling, baby boy,

I can't believe another year has passed by so quickly.  In a lot of ways it went by faster than your first year.  How is that possible?  You have changed so much but are still my sweet baby.  You definitely are a mystery little man.  You are throwing everybody for a loop by doing things in your own time.  Walking for example, we were starting to get worried because at 15 months you weren't taking steps on your own yet.  Then at the beginning of May, you did!  You walked all around our house on your first day!  And we were so relieved...until the next day when you wouldn't do it anymore.  You waited almost 2 more months! When you finally started back up you could run.  Crazy!

Now we are waiting for you to talk.  You just said your first real word this week...lights.  And you say it ALL the time.  To be honest, we are still concerned because other little kids your age say a lot more.  Most are even putting sentences together.  Still, you are so smart and it is evident to everyone who meets you.  We have been seeking advice from speech and occupational therapists.  Nobody really has any answers.  But you know who your Mama and Dada are.  You love to look through our wedding album and point to pictures of us.  It makes me melt with happiness.

You definitely know how to test me sometimes.  The other thing I can't quite figure out is why you think punishment is funny.  When you throw food off your tray I firmly hold your hands together, look you straight in the eye and say "No!" "We do not throw food!"  You don't like being constrained like that but thats the point.  I let you go and you immediately pick up another piece, stare me down, and throw it again clasping your hands together in anticipation of my reaction.  Other times when you get a strong "NO" you laugh hysterically.  Nobody knows how to handle this either.  Recently one of your therapists referred to you as fascinating.  That you are little man, that you are.

I love you so much sometimes it scares me.  This year I have been made aware of an evil called pediatric cancer.  YOU ARE FINE!  I just came across some riveting blogs on the Internet of mothers who have lost their sons to this horrible disease.  The only reason I am bringing this up is because these mothers describe the bond they had with their sons as something almost mythical, the loves of their lives.  And that perhaps that kind of love just isn't of this world.  That scares me because that is exactly how I feel about you.

I love you to the ends of the Earth, I love you to the Moon, Sun, and Stars, then all around the Universe and back again.  I love you for ever and ever and always and always.  As long as I'm living my baby you'll be!