Mama Bear Complex

I definitely suffer from a severe mama bear complex.  This set in the moment Kolton was born.  You see from the beginning Mike and I have always had to deal with something being wrong with our son.  You might remember that Kolton was born with both testicles undescended.  You can read about that here.  So right away we were talking to doctors about what to do and if he will ever be "normal".  Please know that I have some friends that read this blog that had actual life threatening situations with their infants.  I am in no way comparing this little thing to theirs or anyone who has had a child born with difficulties.  All I'm saying is I remember feeling defensive of my baby right away.  I could only hope that the surgery would resolve the situation and that I wouldn't have to prepare Kolton to be teased in showers one day.

We have been on this speech delay and possible autism spectrum disorder journey for about 1/2 of Kolton's life.  Through out I have been extremely defensive.  Today was another one of those days.  I took K to see a developmental pediatrician.  Even though his vocabulary is exploding his preschool teacher is observing some problem areas.  As are we with some of his tantrums at home.  So I thought another opinion couldn't hurt.  Well it does hurt...it hurts me.

Am I the only one who ends up almost walking out on these appointments?  Is it too much to ask that doctors have a little more understanding and bed side manner?  Especially when their chosen specialty is to tell parents that their child is not "normal".  But maybe its me because I've had tense moments with his pediatrician, speech therapist, early intervention case handler, and anyone else who has had to observe him.  I really hate the feeling.  It's actually worse than doctors telling me something is wrong with me.

There still isn't enough to diagnose Kolton with anything specific.  But there is enough to be concerned.  Even physically he isn't quite up to speed with his pears.  So now we have to get a school evaluation done again to see if he qualifies for special ed preschool in the fall.  Maybe he will, maybe he won't is all the doctor had to say today....brilliant!

Thankfully my day ended on a much higher note.  Kolton and I played, watched Cars, and snuggled.  I seriously love that kid.  And I make no apologies for the mama bear claws that sometime come out.  Its purely instinctual.