Mama Bear Complex

I definitely suffer from a severe mama bear complex.  This set in the moment Kolton was born.  You see from the beginning Mike and I have always had to deal with something being wrong with our son.  You might remember that Kolton was born with both testicles undescended.  You can read about that here.  So right away we were talking to doctors about what to do and if he will ever be "normal".  Please know that I have some friends that read this blog that had actual life threatening situations with their infants.  I am in no way comparing this little thing to theirs or anyone who has had a child born with difficulties.  All I'm saying is I remember feeling defensive of my baby right away.  I could only hope that the surgery would resolve the situation and that I wouldn't have to prepare Kolton to be teased in showers one day.

We have been on this speech delay and possible autism spectrum disorder journey for about 1/2 of Kolton's life.  Through out I have been extremely defensive.  Today was another one of those days.  I took K to see a developmental pediatrician.  Even though his vocabulary is exploding his preschool teacher is observing some problem areas.  As are we with some of his tantrums at home.  So I thought another opinion couldn't hurt.  Well it does hurt...it hurts me.

Am I the only one who ends up almost walking out on these appointments?  Is it too much to ask that doctors have a little more understanding and bed side manner?  Especially when their chosen specialty is to tell parents that their child is not "normal".  But maybe its me because I've had tense moments with his pediatrician, speech therapist, early intervention case handler, and anyone else who has had to observe him.  I really hate the feeling.  It's actually worse than doctors telling me something is wrong with me.

There still isn't enough to diagnose Kolton with anything specific.  But there is enough to be concerned.  Even physically he isn't quite up to speed with his pears.  So now we have to get a school evaluation done again to see if he qualifies for special ed preschool in the fall.  Maybe he will, maybe he won't is all the doctor had to say today....brilliant!

Thankfully my day ended on a much higher note.  Kolton and I played, watched Cars, and snuggled.  I seriously love that kid.  And I make no apologies for the mama bear claws that sometime come out.  Its purely instinctual.

Reward

What a busy day!  Our scheduled was jammed packed.  Thinking back to this morning or even lunch time feels like yesterday.  We did have a couple hours at home but I didn't want to waste the whole time trying to put Kolton down for a nap only to have to wake him up.  So we skipped it and the craziest thing happened.  He actually sat on the potty....for 30 minutes!  I promised him chocolate if he went.  Unfortunately there was no action.  Oh, how I wanted even the smallest tinkle so he could finally make a connection.  I just hope the experience didn't confuse or discourage him.  But I was so, so, proud of him!  And of course I rewarded him with chocolate anyway.  I'm really hopeful that we just turned a corner.  I am planning on a 3 day potty training boot camp next weekend.  Fingers Crossed People!!!

This was the 3rd time in the week so far that Kolton has had be beaming with pride.  Yesterday at speech therapy he counted to 20 unassisted. He counts for me all of the time but usually I have to repeat each number and I wasn't so sure he would perform on command.  He did awesome!  Then later in the morning he rode the train at the children's museum all by himself for the first time.  He screamed with delight.  Its funny because he seemed so disinterested all the times I rode with him.  I wasn't sure he would let me walk away.  But he did, and again I was so proud.  

I think I'm starting to like year 3...