3

My Dearest Darling Baby Boy,

It's been quite a while since I wrote to you like this.  I'm not even sure anyone checks this blog anymore.  But I'm thankful I have this platform to record my thoughts and feelings to share with you one day.

Last Sunday-the 19th of course-you turned 3 years old!  Its crazy how, once again, time has seemed to both fly and crawl at the same time.  Mommy and Daddy still feel a bit turned on our heads living in Richmond.  But in late November we made the very tough decision to stay vs move to Northern VA.  While maybe not all that exciting for us it is a wonderful place for you!  You have so many friends-Brooke, Dylan, Cody, Graham, Abby, Emma, Ava, Lyla, Blake, Andrew, New Friend Andrew-just to name a few.  You love your preschool and thinking about researching new ones and getting on a wait list fills me with anxiety.  Don't get me wrong, I had a lot to do with wanting to stay for selfish reasons too...I hope we move into a nice, affordable, house sometime soon and thinking of having to start all over making new friends AGAIN is just an anxiety I couldn't handle.  Baltimore is always and forever going to be part of your life but I think its better for you here.

So, just who are you at 3?  The sweetest most loving little boy, and a wild, crazy, tantrum throwing dictator.  You give the best hugs and kisses and often request them.  Even your preschool teachers comment on how much love you exude.  It makes me feel really good that it is evident you are growing up in a very affectionate home.  Your little mind just amazes me.  And there is no better feeling than watching you learn new things.  You can count to 20, and you know all of your shapes and colors.  You know almost the whole alphabet and we are working on spelling your name.  Even though you are still considered delayed in speech I am no longer that worried.  You say new words everyday and repeat everything I say.  You know the difference between Football, Baseball, and Basketball.  And you still love to be read to.  Sometimes the same book over and over.  It really makes me smile when you know whats coming before I even say it.  Oh!  And you are learning the words to songs too.  That being said I'm not going to lie Little Man, there still might be something wrong...

Through out our day there are quite a few things that you do that concern me a little.  They mostly have to do with your obsessiveness.  Things have to be done, and said, in the exact same way, every time, every day or you lose your mind.  Now its not like a rigid schedule or anything like that.  But getting in & out of the car, warming anything up in the microwave, going up & down stairs, changing your diaper...all seem to have a ritual that if I skip parts you go into a panic.  Only it comes out as a tantrum.  I'm not really sure what to do?  There is a part of me that wants to be sympathetic to your needs and there is a part of me that wants to lay down the law.  This results in what I call fights; where we both end up screaming at each other.  But because I'm such a push over, lately you've taken to bossing me around quite a bit.  You often get your way, so maybe you are just smarter than I'm giving you credit for.  Or, maybe there is actually something greater going on.  You want to do EVERYTHING yourself.  "Kolton do"  is something I hear repeatedly and while I appreciate your curiosity and ambition sometimes I just want to flick a light switch on without picking you up to do it.  We'll get it figured out soon, I hope!

Because of this I've been a bit reluctant to dig my heels in and tackle some of the milestones you need to be reaching like sleeping in a toddler bed and potty training.  In my defense you still sleep wonderfully in your crib.  You often lay there and talk to yourself while you wait to fall asleep.  And you still take a big nap in the afternoon (sometimes in my bed).  You only tried to crawl out of the crib once and fell flat on your back.  You've never tried again.  I'm slightly terrified about disrupting the peace, mostly because I like my sleep too.  And you won't go near a potty chair...  But you know what, we'll get through this together.

At 3 years old your favorite things are:

Playing with my iPhone-mostly watching videos of yourself

Music-highly inappropriate songs like Britney Spears' "Work Bitch" and will.i.am's "Scream & Shout"

School-you ask to go almost every day even though you only go on Tuesdays and Thursdays

Cars-especially ones that light up and make noise

Art-painting with a paint brush but, you don't like to get your hands dirty.

Green seems to be your favorite color but sometimes its Red

I am still so excited about getting to spend the majority of my time with you.  Even when I'm exhausted at the end of the day.  I am constantly filled with gratitude that I get to be with you as much as I do.  Of course I enjoy time spent away from you too.  But the cool part is I know its not for long.  There is often this moment, right before you go to sleep, when you gaze up at me and just smile.  Its almost like you know something that I don't.  I hope that never changes.  

I love you Kolton Michael, I love you to the moon, the sun, and the stars, then all around the universe and back again!