Boiling

Is it just me or has January been the longest month ever?!?  Throw in a 70 degree day and I am all out of sorts.  Its hard to believe that we are still in the middle of winter.

So I hate to admit this but I've noticed that my fuse is getting shorter and shorter.  Ugh!  I honestly don't believe that yelling is ever the answer.  But I find myself yelling at Kolton once a day.  My outburst usually revolves around trying to get out the door.  He is just in constant motion; putting his socks on can take 20 minutes only for him to pull them off again.  I don't know how you working moms do it!

The problem is the yelling is actually effective.  It just grabs his attention enough to stop him in his tracks for a second.  But I absolutely hate myself for doing it.

So I wrote this post and then watched an episode of Super Nanny.  Just to be clear I yell things like "Sit Down!" and "Stop!"  or sometimes just "Aaaaaaahhhhhhh!"

Chopped

I chopped my hair off this weekend!  Sorry, I don't have a good photo.  Self portraits are never really worth sharing =)  Its been a couple of years since I had short hair; so I feel I look at least 2 years younger!  I thought Kolton might be weirded out at first. But basically, he had no reaction.  He just doesn't have a pony tail to pull when we play wrestle mania.  Believe me, he improvises just fine.

Petition

If you read this blog and you have a couple of minutes please, please, please sign the petition below. Pediatric cancer deserves all the attention it can get.

https://petitions.whitehouse.gov/petition/light-white-house-gold-month-september-honor-pediatric-cancer-fighters-and-bring-light-cause/syV6M6wX

Most of you know me pretty well and I'm typically not the type to push my own agenda.  But this is one exception I just have to make!

Happy 2nd Birthday Kolton!

My dearest, darling, baby boy,

I can't believe another year has passed by so quickly.  In a lot of ways it went by faster than your first year.  How is that possible?  You have changed so much but are still my sweet baby.  You definitely are a mystery little man.  You are throwing everybody for a loop by doing things in your own time.  Walking for example, we were starting to get worried because at 15 months you weren't taking steps on your own yet.  Then at the beginning of May, you did!  You walked all around our house on your first day!  And we were so relieved...until the next day when you wouldn't do it anymore.  You waited almost 2 more months! When you finally started back up you could run.  Crazy!

Now we are waiting for you to talk.  You just said your first real word this week...lights.  And you say it ALL the time.  To be honest, we are still concerned because other little kids your age say a lot more.  Most are even putting sentences together.  Still, you are so smart and it is evident to everyone who meets you.  We have been seeking advice from speech and occupational therapists.  Nobody really has any answers.  But you know who your Mama and Dada are.  You love to look through our wedding album and point to pictures of us.  It makes me melt with happiness.

You definitely know how to test me sometimes.  The other thing I can't quite figure out is why you think punishment is funny.  When you throw food off your tray I firmly hold your hands together, look you straight in the eye and say "No!" "We do not throw food!"  You don't like being constrained like that but thats the point.  I let you go and you immediately pick up another piece, stare me down, and throw it again clasping your hands together in anticipation of my reaction.  Other times when you get a strong "NO" you laugh hysterically.  Nobody knows how to handle this either.  Recently one of your therapists referred to you as fascinating.  That you are little man, that you are.

I love you so much sometimes it scares me.  This year I have been made aware of an evil called pediatric cancer.  YOU ARE FINE!  I just came across some riveting blogs on the Internet of mothers who have lost their sons to this horrible disease.  The only reason I am bringing this up is because these mothers describe the bond they had with their sons as something almost mythical, the loves of their lives.  And that perhaps that kind of love just isn't of this world.  That scares me because that is exactly how I feel about you.

I love you to the ends of the Earth, I love you to the Moon, Sun, and Stars, then all around the Universe and back again.  I love you for ever and ever and always and always.  As long as I'm living my baby you'll be!   

First Word!

OK, I'm calling it; we have an official first word that isn't just really a sound like Mama, Dada, or Hi.  And the word is........

LIGHTS

Only it comes out sounding more like dights.  But he points to them when he says it so I know what he means.  His preschool teachers alerted me to it yesterday and now he has been saying it non-stop.  He loves being in stores because the lights are massive and everywhere.  Needless to say I'm pretty excited about this!  And just in time for his 2nd birthday on Saturday.

Speaking of birthdays just want to say Happy Birthday to my Sweetie.  He is on the road and I'm not even sure he reads my blog all the time.  Now that I don't really have money of my own I'm always a little unsure on how to celebrate Mike.  It just feels a little strange that technically he is paying for his own gift =)

Absence

It has been down right mild.  This weekend it was in the 70's.  I realize that Kolton is going to have a vastly different childhood than mine.  One without bundling up, fighting the elements, or snow days due to actual snow and not just an inch.  However, there are mountains relatively close by where people can get their ski or snowboard fix.  I haven't been on the slopes in years (snowboarding).  Honestly I only did it to seem rough and tough, I never really liked it.  But the pictures of little 3 year olds on skis really get to me.  I worry that we might deprive little man of an experience that he might actually love.

I got all of my Christmas decorations down but have been a little lazy about putting it all away.  Kolton LOVES those colored snow flakes and scatters them around when ever he can.  And he really LOVES the light pink one which you can vaguely see spinning in his hand.    I wonder if its because of the absence of the color in his life that makes him love it so much?

Wreckage

This is the kind of week we are having.  I'm pissed about the clay one because it was a gift from a friend before I left Minneapolis.  She made it and it read "May You Always Find Your Way Home".  I've been using it to store remotes on my coffee table for the past 7 years.  Of course I just knew Kolton was going to break it when I saw him playing with it.  I need to listen to my intuition more often.

One of the neat things that little man has learned lately is how to unload the dishwasher.  I just love his joy and enthusiasm when he helps me.   Only he doesn't get the "loading" concept yet.  That lead to the demise of a cereal bowl.

So after what I'd say was a particularly trying day (only a 45 min nap) I watched the first 5 minutes of the movie version of The Office and was instantly reminded how good I have it!