Loooong Week

It's been a really long week somehow.  The combination of Mike being gone all week and no social events on my calendar proved to be somewhat destructive on my well being.  Its still a little hard to stomach why we had to move when Mike is gone this much.  But I think I've been over that more than a few times =)

It's now past 8:00 and Kolton is eating cookies.  I think I just earned myself of loooong night too!

Freaked Out

Well today was one of those days.  I'm sorry I don't have a lot of positive things to say about it.
One thing that made today especially trying was Kolton had a major freak out when I tried to put him in his car seat to go get lunch.  It started last night on the way home from the gym.  He screams and cries and throw his hands over his eyes like he is trying to shield himself from something.  But its been cloudy and rainy so its not the sun.  It is bad you guys.  He acts like he is honestly terrified.  I thought maybe he was scared of the wind shield wipers or something.  But he started to cry before I even started the car.  I don't know what to do. I didn't leave the house again all afternoon.  I have no idea what this could be about.  He's been in this seat for a while now, why all of the sudden is he upset?  What is going through his head?  He's an extremely sensitive little boy sometimes.  But I wouldn't change a thing about him =)

Gotta go, a new episode of Giuliana & Bill is on.  I love them!  Maybe I'll have popcorn for dinner....

Bites

For the past several weeks I have really struggled with finding things Kolton will actually eat.  He'll take little bites here and there but won't eat meals.  Things he used to gobble up now get pushed away.  Every google search results in toddler friendly recipes.  But, what do you do when your kid won't even open his mouth to try anything?  Its extremely frustrating and of course I worry that he isn't getting adequate nutrition.  More than anything I just hope he's not going hungry.  But if he was hungry don't you think he'd eat?????

In other Kolton news I'm starting to suspect he might have really sensitive skin.  His reaction to bug bites is almost alarming.  It takes him a really long time to heal.  I fear some may even scar.  The weather has been really beautiful so I've been trying to spend more time outside.  Last week we were out for only 1/2 hour but I had to take little man in due to no less than 6 mosquito bites that were already turning red.  3 or 4 were clustered on the side of his cheek.  On Friday we went to play at a park.  We were only there for a few minutes when I saw a mosquito land in the exact same spot.  He came home with 3 bites added to his collection.  He had a big puffy red spot about the size of a quarter...but you could see all the individual bites.  Then of course he scratched it and it broke open and bled.  I covered it with a band aid just to keep his grubby little paws off it.  Things look better today but now a new cluster has shown up on his leg.  Do all babies react this way?

We had another boring lazy weekend.  I'm starting to get a fire lit under me though to get and and do more.  The fall seems to be packed with things to do and I'm already seeing a ton of apple orchard and pumpkin patch pictures on Facebook.  I may even try some home improvement projects like painting.  In my 34 years I have never painted anything!  Can you believe that?!?!

Terrifying

Last night for 90 terrifying minutes I had no idea where Kolton was.

Well, maybe I'm being a tad overly dramatic but that's what it felt like anyway.  Let me explain...

I knew he was with his babysitter but I was surprised when I got home from my dinner meeting before them.  We only have one girl that watches him and her son is involved in a youth football league that practices every Tues, Wed, & Thur.  She took him one other time and made it home by 8:00.  So when I got home shortly after 8 and they weren't back yet i thought it was odd.  I sent her a text and tried to ignore the lump in my throat.  5 minutes and no response later I called her phone...it went straight to voicemail!  Que panic.  I texted again, called again, called again, called, called, called, well you get the point.  Now it was 8:30 and I'm pacing the driveway willing her car to pull into the community.  Here was the problem...

I didn't know exactly where she was taking him.  I just knew football practice.  I didn't know the babysitters home phone number.  I only know her cell.  I didn't know her address either.  She had recently moved.  I was FREAKING OUT.  So I did what any panicking, irrational mother would do.  I threw a Hail Mary and called the realtor that had recommended her because I knew they were close friends.  She wasn't sure where the fields were either but told me she wouldn't be surprised if practice ran late because there was no school on Wed.

My rational brain told me there had to be a logical explanation but my irrational brain jumped to the worse case scenario.  What if the got in an accident?  What if he was kid napped from the field?  My heart was pounding out of my chest!!!!  So I looked up youth football and started driving to the closest field not knowing if this was even the right place.  FINALLY she called.  They were at our house and Kolton was already in bed.  I must have just missed her.

Apparently, Kolton got fussy so she took him to her house while she waited for her son to get done with practice.  She fed him and then he fell asleep and so did she.  When she woke up and realized her phone was dead she decided to bring Kolton home instead of plugging her phone in.  But she brought her charger to plug in at my house.

I'm not mad at her at all.  Although falling asleep and having your phone die when you are watching someone else's child is probably something that shouldn't happen.  More than anything I was appalled at my lack of judgement.  I was completely lacking any details about the where abouts of my child and that my friends, is on me.  I also didn't set the expectation with her about what time I'd be home.  I'm sure she thought it was going to be a later night.  She loves Kolton and was very apologetic.  She also wouldn't accept any payment from me.  I'll definitely continue to use her.  I just need to make sure to give and get ALL the details.

I remember my mom telling me stories about me getting lost in the grocery store.  I feel like most parents have a terrifying moment or two in their memories.  If you haven't had one yet consider yourself lucky!  I hope the worse is over for me, but I have a feeling that won't be the last time.  Having kids changes everything!

Big Boy Seat

We FINALLY got Kolton into a big boy seat.  Oy!  For what ever reason I really struggled with the decision.  Part of it was cost but who am I kidding that's not really what was holding us back but I also didn't want to spend $300. But Heaven forbid something terrible happens then I'm the ass hole parent who didn't want to protect her child.   I just couldn't decide.  I read and re-read and re-read a number of reviews online.  I went to Babies R Us, Target, Walmart, back to Babies R Us.  Then there was the convertible vs straight on booster seat.  What brand is good, better best?  I just couldn't decide!!!

A few of the Moms I know told me that the Evenflo brand was recommended to them.  It was also recommended to me by a man who ran a baby boutique where he couldn't offer me a seat for anything less than $250...I laughed in his face.  So I ultimately decided on the Evenflo booster for $150.  It was actually thinner than the convertible seats which I thought would fit better in my little Mazda 3.  Plus at 20 months my intention was to get Kolton forward facing.

What I didn't know was all car seats have an expiration date of about 6 years.  So that means if we want to use our infant seat for another child we better get crakin.  Um, not quite ready for that yet!

A Little This & That

I'm a little scattered tonight because I just saw a giant spider outside.  Ugh!  I know they start to come in during the fall and I'm beyond terrified.  Chances are I am going to be home alone and screaming my head off. At the other house we paid for pest control to come and spray.  But in a town house with only 2 exposed sides I'm just not sure its worth it.  So I think I'll go to Lowe's tomorrow to try to find something.  I just wish they didn't print big damn eight legged freaks on the bottles!  So here are a few little tid bits thats been going on around here...

This is the kind of thing that I think is hilarious and Mike would have a cow over.  I emailed this to my mom who promptly called me to tell me that this was how babies fall out of windows.  I'd like to think that if we lived in a high rise I'd be more mindful

Catching a glimpse of Kolton sleeping still takes my breath away.  I don't allow myself to watch him too often because I'm always so afraid he'll wake up.   Over the weekend he treated both Mike and I to a little sleepy snuggle time which rarely happens.  

Little man still isn't talking but he's definitely hearing and understanding language.  He's able to identify body parts when asked, well, when he wants to, and follows simple instructions.  I'm just waiting for him to catch me off guard and spurt out something really inappropriate.  

Unrest

Hard to believe that its been well over a year since we moved to Richmond.  All of my sad & mad feelings have subsided however, I still feel restless.  The kind of restless like when you are having  a great time on vacation but a piece of you can't wait to get home.  It's weird.  But I really think a lot of it has to do with our living situation.  I look around this place and think of all of the things I would like to change or upgrade.  But its not worth it for a rental.  Then there is the constant fear that I'm going to wreck something.  We thought we left our last place in pretty good condition considering we never so much as hung a picture in the place.  We got less than 25% of our security deposit back!  WTF!!!!  They docked us for cleaning, a scratch in the counter tops. hardwood floor repair, trash removal, and I don't even know what else.  The big problem is we never had a walk through either at move in or move out so we have no proof.  They just kept our money!

But I'm really trying not to sweat the small stuff anymore.  After a week I still spend a lot of time thinking about that little boy who died of cancer.  I think this story is going to change my life forever. Its really hard to be upset about life when I get to spend all of my days with my beautiful, healthy, baby boy.  We spent a good 1/2 hour chasing each other around the kitchen yesterday.  The little shit even picked up on the concept of the double back.  We both worked up a sweat =)